


How to Keep a Cat from Biting

by velvetcake96



Series: How to Keep a Cat From Biting (Series) [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Instincts, Animal Transformation, Cute Animals, Edward Elric Swears, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Edward Elric, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I KNOW THIS SEEMS BAD BUT IT'S ACTUALLY VERY FLUFFY, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I basically got one of those part animal AUs and added a bit of blood and hurt.., No Romance, Parental Roy Mustang, Protective Roy Mustang, Team as Family, kind of crack?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29792382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetcake96/pseuds/velvetcake96
Summary: (I swear to all that is holy and demonic I don't know why I made this)When Ed left for an early lunch he still looked human.When the door slammed open after lunch, it revealed Ed with a bloody cat tail tucked between his legs. The kid looked scared, and genuinely confused.He asked the Colonel: “What the fuck is happening to me!?”The man behind the desk ears went back at the sound of the yell, and responded: “You have presented as a cat?”
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric & Team Mustang, Alphonse Elric & Roy Mustang, Alphonse Elric & Team Mustang, Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Edward Elric & Team Mustang
Series: How to Keep a Cat From Biting (Series) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198187
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	How to Keep a Cat from Biting

**Author's Note:**

> The only part that wasn't written at five in the morning was that last paragraph. Don't ask why I made this because I don't know. I've had this idea for awhile, and was going to write about it after I got to a point for my Clockwork AU, but here we are I guess.
> 
> Never listen to Everybody Wants to Be a Cat from The Aristocats late at night, because this is what you get.  
> (This isn't my best work, but I found it funny.)

“Fullmetal!” Was the shout that caused the whole commotion. Colonel Roy Mustang's voice was filled with concern. A complete 180 from how he addresses the young blonde regularly. Then Roy ran out of the inner office door holding a small gold kitten (with small automail limbs) in his arms.

But let's get up to speed.

Since the dawn of time humans have suffered mutations in their makeup and some humans are born with an animal counterpart. Signs would show up in late childhood or early teens. Signs would be things like: (depending on the animal) fur on the end of ears, or just developing animal parts. Able to make the sounds of their animal outside of shape shifting. And the final part of the whole thing was finally being able to transform into their counterpart.

Many say it’s a painful process that lasted months or even years, others say they experienced the symptoms in the span of a week and it didn’t hurt. Sadly the young blond had to deal with the ladder.

At first it was something simple like his eyes following anything that moved. They thought the kid was just bored and was getting distracted.

Then Mustang found Ed on the floor in his office laying in the sunlight, sleeping soundly. This was what set the older man off to keep an eye on the younger.

Then the tail came in.

The genetic bingo just really hated Ed. 

They saw him scratching at his lower back, hissing about the fact that he felt something poking him. At this point most of the team realized that Ed had been going through the transformation for at least a year, and knew what was going to happen next.

When Ed left for an early lunch he still looked human.

When the door slammed open after lunch, it revealed Ed with a bloody cat tail tucked between his legs. The kid looked scared, and genuinely confused. 

He asked the Colonel: “What the fuck is happening to me!?”

The man behind the desk ears went back at the sound of the yell, and responded: “You have presented as a cat?”

Fuery winced from where he was sitting, letting put a small squeak.

The other four in the room didn’t know how to feel about their youngest member presenting, and not being able to help. They didn’t know how to. The other two had sympathy for the kid, remembering their own presenting pains.

Getting up from his desk the older man pointed to his office, “Let’s go in there, I want to check something.” Roy just wanted to know if the tail was going to be the only thing popping up. (He remembered the pain that was his ears coming in and he wanted to help the kid through it.) “ Fuery you're helping me.”

“Yes sir..” 

They went to the inner office and that was the beginning of the week of hell.

Mustang’s guess was right, Ed was presenting as a cat, and was going to have ears come in the next few days. The beginning of them hiding in his golden hair. 

When the kid put his head down on his desk no one batted an eye, or when he had to run out of the room (Probably from the pain), they just waited patiently for him to return. Sadly presenting wasn’t a ‘good enough’ reason to miss out on work. Even though people who presented leaned into their animal characteristics before the end of it, and was a process that got worse as it went on.

By the time the two golden ears were coming out, Ed was just yowling. They got a word here and there, but it was mostly just the sound of pain. Ed was so loud that the office next door had to come and see if there was someone being murdered beyond the walls. But they only found a kid with cat ears coming out his head, and blood going down his face. With the Colonel standing behind him, massaging the little ears, and his own pulled back in discomfort. And five military personnel wearing a look of concern for the child in front of them. 

When someone has ear characteristics their human ears no longer work, so the hearing switches to the ones that appear. (Riza knew a bit about how to comfort those who went through that. Being there when Roy’s first appeared.) That’s why it hurts. Not only was it something growing out of their head, but they could feel their human ears basically dying and becoming useless. So anyone who had ears would probably sympathies with each other.

By the time the ears went through the kid was crying. (Ed never cried, especially in front of them.) His yowling had downgraded to small mews, and slightly purring from the feeling of his ears being massaged. They were almost out of the wood, Ed just needed to shift for the first time and he was done. 

It was all set up, his physical characteristics finally showed up, and he was more cat-like,(Al wasn’t happy to spend almost thirty minutes looking for Ed only to find him in a bathroom cabinet). They needed a reason for the Elrics to stay in the office for awhile, so when it happened both brothers would be alright.  
They didn’t want to leave a thirteen year old to deal with his suddenly sifted brother. Because Al also had to deal with the slow year transformation. Watching his brother completely change from his usual hot headed self, to basically an animal. Al seemed to like the fact that Ed’s animal counterpart was a cat, but after the pain his brother was going through, Al just wanted to stop the pain for him.

He felt bad because after his ears came in, they had to clean around the area, and Al’s hands were too big. They tried, but when they did, he pushed down a little too hard on Ed’s head, and he started his yowling again. And Al’s heart broke into a million pieces.

They were lucky that a certain dog was staying late to deal with his demonist paperwork. 

Alphonse sulked into the office with his brother in his arms. “I tried to clean his ears, but..” The poor kid sounded heartbroken. Even without a normal face you could tell he was defeated. “But, I can’t feel how hard I’m pushing down on brother’s head.” He put his brother down, “Colonel, can you help us?” 

“Of course Alphonse, I don’t mind helping with Fullmetal.” He pulled the first aid out of his desk and sat by the Elrics.

At first the only reaction they got was small mews, but when Roy got to an extremely sore spot, Ed hissed, and swiped at him.

“Brother, the Colonel is trying to help us!”

Roy looked Ed in the eyes and gave a small growl, and that prompted Ed to try again. Roy gave a slightly louder growl, and bit the tip of his ear. (It wasn’t hard, just hard enough that he would feel it.) Ed gave a small meow, and Roy gave one last soft growl. This got Ed to stop, he drew his ears back , and put his head back on Roy’s lap.

Alphonse’s soulfire eyes widened. Now if it was from what he just saw or the fact he got his brother to stop Roy didn’t know. “How did you do that?”

Roy closed the first aid kit, and started rubbing the back of Ed’s head, “ I showed him that acting out is going to get him in trouble. That wouldn’t work if Ed was normal, but in this mind space, it’s better to skip using words, and use a language that will come more naturally.” He smiled when he felt the small purrs coming off the older Elric, “He reacted because he’s hurting, and cleaning his ears only makes it worse. I just showed him that he needed to calm down and let me make it better. There’s a lot that can be said from just a slight noise.”

“But you bit his ear?”

“The way you train a cat not to bite is bite it back.”

“Oh.” Alphonse took a second before asking. “How bad does it hurt?”

Roy gave the young Elric a sad look, “It hurts pretty bad, but I really don’t remember.”

The next day when it happened, the younger Elric was in the other office as the Colonel cleaned around Ed’s ears again. 

Then they heard the yell and saw him burst out with the small kitten. No one knew what to say. The small cat seemed to be fine with being held by the raven haired, and was even trying to fall asleep. 

“Is that..”

“Yes this is Fullmetal.”

Havoc was the one to pipe up, ”Does he know how to change back?”

Roy looked at the kitten snuggling in his arms, “From my experience, no.” He looked to the otter in the room, “Sergeant, how about you?”

“No sir, my family had an otter running around for at least a month.”

“How does he change back?” Al’s voice sounded extremely worried.

“We can wait it out, or another presenter could shift and talk him through it.”

“Why don't you do it Colonel, you seem to understand what to do.”

Havoc decided to step in from his spot, “I don’t think that’s the best idea Al, the boss gets a little,” The man paused looking for the word, “Protective in his animal form..”

“I don’t see how that’s a problem.” 

Hawkeye spoke up from her work looking at the small kitten, “ What he means is that the Colonel wouldn’t have the heart to get Edward to change back.”

The man in question’s face was bright red, trying to stop the kitten wanting to claim its spot on the man’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine.” He sat the cat down, “I’ll be quick about it.” Then the man changed in front of their eyes, leaving behind an all black German shepherd, with determination in his eyes.

Havoc leaned towards the men in the room, “I give the boss thirty seconds before he gives in to instincts.”

“I say twenty.” The second Lieutenant gave the other a smirk.

The large black dog sniffed at the small golden kitten, slightly nudging him with his nose. The little cat looked up with his golden eye, and rubbed his cheek against Roy’s nose.

The armored boy looked over to the other presenter in the room, “Why does brother seem a lot nicer like this?”

“In animal form certain personality traits stump out others. I’m pretty sure if Ed wasn’t trying to sleep he would be attacking the Colonel. 

“Or your brother is a lot nicer than he lets off.” Havoc looked from the young Elric to the two animals on the floor, “Come on boss it can’t be that hard!”

At this point the German shepherd is sitting down, letting the small tabby sniff at him, and rubbing his head against the bigger animal. The determination in his eyes was long gone, replaced with a sense of amusement. Then Ed let out a small hiss, ears pulling back, and budding his head against the dog.

The amusement disappeared, and Roy gave out a growl. (Stop doing that.)

Ed let out a pitiful meow. (It hurts.) He pawed at his head, and Roy got the message.

Even when a presenter finally sifts into their animal, their injuries carry on while sifting. So the injuries around the small cat's ears were still there, and what's worse is that he could feel them worse than before.

The two went back and forth for a bit, and then two humans replaced the animals on the floor. The smaller of the two was close to falling to sleep, the other was holding him up.

“Brother!”

Ed’s ears drew back again, a face of discomfort slammed onto his face, and he pulled the hood on his coat up. He was still leaning in on his animal characteristics. 

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah he just needs to get passed this adjustment period and he’ll be fine.”

Ed still looks back at the end of that long year and shutters. He couldn’t believe that he was all touchy feely with the Colonel. He started wearing his hood all the time, and stuffed his tail in his pants leg. He didn’t feel comfortable with freely showing the fact that he was a presenter. He wasn’t ashamed of it, but on top of being disabled, and a dog of the military (or cat, he didn’t know), this could be used against him. A dog whistle could take him out, and that sucked. But thinking about the blurry memory of Mustang biting at his ears, made the young blonde smile. But he’d never admit to it. Even if his animal counterpart is slightly more affectionate to the older man.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello welcome to the end of whatever this is. When I went back and read through this morning I had the idea of a story with a dog whistle. Because fun fact, cats can hear a little better than dogs, and is affected by those whistles. So if I need a break from my other story I'll write that.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hoped you enjoyed!!


End file.
